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Why Are 42% Of Black Successful Women Are Single?

February 19, 2010

Let’s talk about it! Give us your comments for the show!!  This should provide some good fuel for Saturday’s show. Leave all of your comments below.  We really want to hear your reactions to this!

10 Comments leave one →
  1. N.Henderson permalink
    February 19, 2010 10:02 AM

    This one is definitely for the BELIEVERS
    I listened to these women and the reality is cold game…brother’s got it made…LOL! But on a real note and the issue of standards, mine is that he is a God fearing man, and I believe all the rest will fall into place. I don’t think you should lower your standards to be in a relationship, if it’s not what you’re looking for than let it go as patience is our virtue. We spend a lot of time and heartache trying to “make it work” when he/she was never meant for us in the first place. It’s time to try something new, read a book, take a walk, anything just “change your focus and keep it movin”, because the reality is we may not be ready for the relationship we’re seeking. I trust that when I’m blessed with “the one” it will be real, unquestioned, hard work (no doubt) but all worth it if it’s in God’s will. In the mean time my relationship with Him is the one I’m working on and I encourage others to do the same, and I mean really give God the attention, love and commitment(sometimes stalkerish) that we give to these relationships, and watch Him work. Call me an optimist or hopeless romantic but aside from all that, I am a woman whose heart has healed and faith unbroken. Good luck and God bless I hope you all find what you’re looking for.

    • February 19, 2010 10:52 PM

      That’s a good point, i don’t know about the whole “brothers got it made” line, but good points nonetheless. I think there is a difference between “settling” and just having ridiculous standards to start with (i.e. 6’5, New York Knick, wants to spend all his time and ends on you haha). But I think that it does say something that these women are experiencing the type of problems they are. One thing is certain, this topic makes for great conversation! Keep the comments coming.

  2. Christina White permalink
    February 20, 2010 1:55 PM

    There are a lot of women who have no problem finding dates, boyfriends, or husbands. They may not be half as beautiful or successful as these ladies, but they are charming. You don’t have to sacrifice your goals or standards to be happy and in Love. Think of romance as something that flows freely into your life. Not a title you have to fight for. A lady is as likely to be married as she allows her brain to perceive.

    No one wants to feel as if they are auditioning for a part or trying to be fit into a predetermined agenda. It’s not fair and the pressure is scary. A respectable man can’t really get too excited about meeting a beautiful woman whose desperation precedes her. No matter how fine she is.

    You have to relax and live in present tense. Easing up will do wonders. Worrying about what’s wrong has a facial expression, and it’s not welcoming. Cut out the neurosis and smile.

    Take people as they are and don’t pigeonhole every individual you find attractive as “the one.” That number is quite limiting. If you genuinely enjoy someone’s company, great. Build off what’s real and what works for you. All those labels are interchangeable, follow how you feel.

    • February 21, 2010 9:52 PM

      I totally agree with the second paragraph. If you want to lose your mate quick, make them feel like they are constantly taking a test. Good point.

  3. B-Rich permalink
    February 20, 2010 5:53 PM

    In response to the question how long is long enough before you decide that you want to marry someone? Courtesy of AW:

    In my honest opinion it takes waaaay longer than a year to know
    somebody well enough to want to marry them.

    Just my opinion. After 1 year, my wife and I hadn’t even really
    argued, let alone fight.

    How do you know you can marry someone, if u don’t even know if u can
    get past a simple argument or a blowup??

    • February 21, 2010 9:51 PM

      That’s a good point. I’d be a little wary of marrying a person if we have never went through a rough patch and made it through together.

  4. February 22, 2010 4:54 PM

    From Facebook-Ashanti Moore

    Family orientated, educated, goal orientated, motivated, loving, intelligent, sense of humor, social, great personality,acts accordingly in public/to uprising occurrences,has similar interests/goals, honest/real, can get along with your friends and fam, someone who believes in chivalry/ a true gentleman, someone who is faithful and loyal, supports you in everything, good listener, companion, and friend. Someone who can appropriately express their feelings and is open to different methods of resolution.

  5. February 22, 2010 4:56 PM

    From Facebook-Tasha Walker

    Ditto to the above post, as well as saved, mature, great communicator. When I find the right man I want him to be my bff lol. I had a great example in my parents, they were married for 39yrs before my mom passed away. They were dedicated to the Lord, each other, and their family. No matter what they were going to stick with it. I need a dedicated man one who when I am down can pray for me and be there by my side. I need a strong man that can handle a strong independent educated woman who will always have his back. I have not yet found one and I will not settle till I get that. Despite that data I will be married unless the good Lord takes me home first.

  6. February 22, 2010 4:59 PM

    From Facebook-Tasha Walker (follow-up)

    Well my take on that is there are women and some I know, that want a successful man that has money that can take care of them. I on one hand don’t see a problem with that I want a successful man with goals and dreams that is financially stable. There is a difference between a gold digger and a woman who wants a good man who can contribute to what she has going on. I am the second woman I feel like I have a lot to bring to the table I am very ambitions and have very big goals. I make my own money and want a man on the same level or above who can add to what I have going on I can add to him as we build together.

    Some women think that because they are beautiful that they should be taken care of and that they deserve nice things. I’ve heard this before and I was like ok. Don’t get me wrong if they can pull it off more power to them I am not mad at that. Other women settle and feel they just want a man even if he is a no good one. Even educated very successful women will settle to be in a relationship.

    For me and I am only speaking for myself, it took a while to really get to know who I am and really love me. I settled many times and was not happy. I know my worth now and would love to have a man, a husband but I will not settle its not worth it to me.

    Charles I could go on all day lol!!

  7. February 22, 2010 5:04 PM

    From Facebook-Ashanti Moore (follow-up)

    You have my permission to post to the blog as well. Im doing this from the phone! Some women are gold diggers so they gotta have a ball player, and some just wanna make sure they have financial security and stability because they grew up poor, or just refuse to ever go that route. And sadly, for other women they just dont have standards! Just so desperate to have a man, someone to say they love them, that they accept anything! Most of the time they come from broken/dysfunctional homes. They never learned what to look for or how to love themselves and put themselves first. So theye continue the cycle, and crave attention. The attention they didnt get from a loving and healthy family. Why are ppl so scared to be alone? You are born that way, and will die that way! The fear is not that they will never find another man, it is in the loneliness they incur while waiting. And lets face it, also, most ppl are impatient and tend to cling and draw near to who/what ever is around. its about mr right now, not mr right.

    Also, they do not know/learn how to categorize ppl. You have to treat ppl accordingly and not confuse it. You gotta know who to call for what. I.e. When u just want sex, call john, a gentleman to take you out,call lawrence. The problems come in when ppl try to build/fall in love with ppl they know do not meet the typical standards of a spouse. If jimmy ain’t s&*t, no job, sleepps around, why marry him? Another thing ppl do, is believe they can make a person reform! Impossible! Ppl have to want to change,and make steps toward doing so. Only then will change occur. You cant force them and hold their hand. You can only decide to stay or go. But staying means you are accepting the behavior in hopes of a change. Sometimess the problem is the women! Why do u keep picking these men? Work on you!!!! You will only get different results from different actions. Including changing your image, standards, routines, goals, your type you are usually attracted to. Maybe the usual is unhealthy. You have to look deep inside.

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